"I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it."

"I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal."

"I'm thrilled to have a completely new audience that I can get from Court TV, without it being my own trial. That was the only other way I would have gotten it."

"Without obsession, life is nothing."

"I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy."

"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty."