"Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should be believed."

"All governments are run by liars and nothing they say should be believed."

"The difference between burlesque and the newspapers is that the former never pretended to be performing a public service by exposure."

"The only thing God didn't do to Job was give him a computer."

"If God, as some now say, is dead, He no doubt died of trying to find an equitable solution to the Arab-Jewish problem."

"Rich people march on Washington every day."

"Every emancipation has in it the seeds of a new slavery, and every truth easily becomes a lie."