"Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant."

"The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking."

"For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver."

"After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity."

"Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people."

"A good folly is worth what you pay for it."

"Only the more rugged mortals should attempt to keep up with current literature."

"In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment."

"A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative."

"To insure peace of mind ignore the rules and regulations."

"She was short on intellect, but long on shape."

"Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense."

"A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words."

"It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after."

"One man's poison Ivy is another man's spinach."