"I certainly did feel inferior. Because of class. Because of strength. Because of height. I guess if I'd been able to hit somebody in the nose, I wouldn't have been a comic."

"I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it."

"I haven't had that many women - only as many as I could lay my hands on."

"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it."