"Going to war was the only unselfish thing I have ever done for humanity."

"Old age has got to start creeping up on me one day soon, and frankly I'm very scared. I don't want to be old. I've always felt so young. And I want to stay that way."

"I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against."

"I make two movies a year to take care of the butcher and the baker and the school fees. Then I try to write, but it's not that easy. Acting is what's easy."

"The only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping and showing off his shortcomings."

"Keep the circus going inside you, keep it going, don't take anything too seriously, it'll all work out in the end."

"I see my purpose in life as making the world a happier place to be in ."

"I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet."