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Joan Rivers

"If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor."

God,
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"If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

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Amber Hurdle

"God comes to us in theater in the way we communicate with each other, whether it be a symphony orchestra, or a wonderful ballet, or a beautiful painting, or a play. It's a way of expressing our humanity."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pray to God that your attachment to such transitory things as wealth, name, and creature comforts may become less and less every day."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's a struggle for every young Black man. You know how it is, only God can judge us."

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Amber Hurdle

"God wills to be displayed and known and loved and cherished and worshiped."

God,
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Amber Hurdle

"The confidence in another man's virtue is no light evidence of a man's own, and God willingly favors such a confidence."

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Amber Hurdle

"Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable."

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Amber Hurdle

"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it."

God,
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Amber Hurdle

"Without the Mind, there is no God. Without you, there is no God."

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Amber Hurdle

"Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?"

Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"
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Joan Rivers
"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."
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Joan Rivers
"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress."
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Joan Rivers
"I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are."
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Joan Rivers
"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash."
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Joan Rivers
"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
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Joan Rivers
"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."
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Joan Rivers
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."
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Joan Rivers
"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
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Joan Rivers
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."
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