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Exlpore more God quotes

"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

"The confidence in another man's virtue is no light evidence of a man's own, and God willingly favors such a confidence."

"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it."
God,

"Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?"
Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"

"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash."

"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."

"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."

"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."

"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."
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