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"There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that."
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"Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony."
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Personal Development
"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You can find women who have never had an affair, but it is hard to find a woman who has had just one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The Cause of Women is generally the Cause of Virtue."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In our society, the women who break down barriers are those who ignore limits."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was never very interested in boys - and there were plenty of them - vying with one another to see how many famous women they would get into the hay."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well."
Work
"Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town."
Love
"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."
Architecture
"The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready."
Acting
"What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke."
Art
"I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness."
Country
"There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that."
Woman
"I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot."
Art
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."
Hate
"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."
Sex
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