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"Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago."
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"Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago."
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Personal Development
"I'm very serious; I don't waste my earnings."
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Personal Development
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."
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Personal Development
"We've pumped waste into cavities in solid rock and found that it spread through the rock."
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Personal Development
"The waste of plenty is the resource of scarcity."
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Personal Development
"In an organic system you don't waste anything. We need to educate the consumer to accept a tiny blemish on an orange."
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Personal Development
"One newspaper even published one of my nude paintings - the one of me naked from the waste up."
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Personal Development
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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
Art
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
Government
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Money
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day
"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
Politics
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Funny
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
People
"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."
Ignorance
"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."
People
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
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