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Paul Merton

"On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'."

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"On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'."

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"I feel the whole issue has been a witchhunt from day one as part of a broader Republican political agenda."

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"We used to say that he who threw the biggest tantrum won the day."

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"Because when I have been busy at the United Nations during crises, it has meant working day and night."

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"Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be."

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"I saw my hometown burning that day."

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"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
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"My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years."
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"On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'."
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