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Paul Merton

"On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'."

Paul Merton, British Comedian
Day, First, Mind
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"On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'."

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"I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way."

Stephen Colbert, American Comedian
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"At this very moment I'm behind on a compilation that Slave Labor is doing for Free Comic Book Day."

Jhonen Vasquez, American Cartoonist
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"Prayer: the key of the day and the lock of the night."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman
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"Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright
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"We're trying to have the band create something beautiful that hopefully one day, 20 years from now, can be picked up by a kid and hopefully have the same effect that Neil Young had on me, or Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath."

Ville Valo, Finnish Musician
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"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist
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"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

Will Rogers, American Actor
Day,
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"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend."

Doug Larson, American Cartoonist
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"Today everyone is a star - they're all billed as 'starring' or 'also starring'. In my day, we earned that recognition."

Bette Davis, American Actress
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"Laughter is day, and sobriety is night; a smile is the twilight that hovers gently between both, more bewitching than either."

Henry Ward Beecher, American Clergyman
Day, Laughter, Night, Smile

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"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
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"My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years."
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"On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'."
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