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Russell Baker

"Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it."

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"Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it."

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Akiroq Brost

"Mothers are supposed to listen and, afterward, to respond with some wisdom and perspective, but these things were not my mother's strong suit."

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Akiroq Brost

"If I would be made come to earth again, I would ask for the same mother again. If made to return 100 times to earth, I would request to be born through the same mother 100 times!"

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Akiroq Brost

"You don't build a family by tearing down another one."

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Akiroq Brost

"Marriage creates one world for your child. For that alone, two old friends can try to see a peaceful world through the eyes of their angels."

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Akiroq Brost

"Could it be? Samantha Kingston? Home? On a Friday? I roll my eyes. "I don't know. Did you do a lot of acid in the sixties? Could be a flashback. "I was two years old in 1960. I came too late for the party. He leans down and pecks me on the head. I pull away out of habit. "And I'm not even going to ask how you know about acid flashbacks. "What's an acid flashback? Izzy crows. "Nothing, my dad and I say at the same time, and he smiles at me."

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Akiroq Brost

"I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars."

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Akiroq Brost

"...workplace dynamics are no less complicated or unexpectedly intense than family relations, with only the added difficulty that whereas families are at least well-recognised and sanctioned loci for hysteria reminiscent of scenes from Medea, office life typically proceeds behind a mask of shallow cheerfulness, leaving workers grievously unprepared to handle the fury and sadness continually aroused by their colleagues."

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Akiroq Brost

"You will never realize how precious a baby is until she keeps you awake through the whole night."

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Akiroq Brost

"A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them."

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Akiroq Brost

"Of private differences personal to himself, my brother had none."

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Russell Baker
"You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart."
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Russell Baker
"Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things."
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Russell Baker
"Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it."
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Russell Baker
"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."
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Russell Baker
"Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity."
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Russell Baker
"The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist."
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Russell Baker
"When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools."
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Russell Baker
"Americans like fat books and thin women."
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Russell Baker
"In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses."
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Russell Baker
"Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost."
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