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Stephen Colbert

"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell."

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"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell."

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A.E. Samaan

"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible."

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"You can wipe out your opponents. But if you do it unjustly you become eligible for being wiped out yourself."

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A.E. Samaan

"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world."

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A.E. Samaan

"Being a blockhead is sometimes the best security against being cheated by a man of wit."

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"It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal."

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A.E. Samaan

"And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness."

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A.E. Samaan

"There is more pleasure in loving than in being beloved."

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A.E. Samaan

"The secret of being a bore... is to tell everything."

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A.E. Samaan

"No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence."

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A.E. Samaan

"Being brilliant is no great feat if you respect nothing."

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"I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart."
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"I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry."
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"In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'"
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"Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything."
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"Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character."
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"You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians."
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"I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law."
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"I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way."
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Stephen Colbert
"In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars."
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Stephen Colbert
"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell."
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