"I am neither a homosexual nor a eunuch, nor have I ever taken any vows of chastity."

Humor, Chastity

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"I am neither a homosexual nor a eunuch, nor have I ever taken any vows of chastity."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

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"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

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"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

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"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

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"How does one measure the success of a museum?"

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"I have never been given to envy - save for the envy I feel toward those people who have the ability to make a marriage work and endure happily."

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"There are at least 50 cities in the world that would have liked to obtain the Getty Collection."

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"My wealth is not a subject I relish discussing."

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"I was brought up in an era when thrift was still considered a virtue."

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"What I learned at Oxford has been used to great advantage throughout my business career."

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