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"I am neither a homosexual nor a eunuch, nor have I ever taken any vows of chastity."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
Explore more quotes by Paul Getty
"The beauty one can find in art is one of the pitifully few real and lasting products of human endeavor."
"I have never been given to envy - save for the envy I feel toward those people who have the ability to make a marriage work and endure happily."
"Before marriage, many couples are very much like people rushing to catch an airplane; once aboard, they turn into passengers. They just sit there."
"During the 1950s, Aristotle Onassis and I formed what grew to be a close friendship and association in several business ventures."
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