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"From sixteen to twenty, all women, kept in humor by their hopes and by their attractions, appear to be good-natured."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development
"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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Personal Development
"Alas poor Yorick! I knew him Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest of most excellent fancy."
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Personal Development
"I don't know why anyone would be scared of a homeless person. The truly scary people are all the murder mystery writers. They spend all day thinking of the perfect plot on how to kill someone and get away with it."
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Personal Development
"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."
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Personal Development
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"Those who will bear much, shall have much to bear."
Will
"Women are always most observed when they seem themselves least to observe, or to lay out for observation."
Woman
"Some children act as if they thought their parents had nothing to do, but to see them established in the world and then quit it."
Thought
"A good man, though he will value his own countrymen, yet will think as highly of the worthy men of every nation under the sun."
Man
"What we want to tell, we wish our friend to have curiosity to hear."
Friendship
"From sixteen to twenty, all women, kept in humor by their hopes and by their attractions, appear to be good-natured."
Humor
"As a child is indulged or checked in its early follies, a ground is generally laid for the happiness or misery of the future man."
Happiness
"Let a man do what he will by a single woman, the world is encouragingly apt to think Marriage a sufficient amends."
Marriage
"Vast is the field of Science. The more a man knows, the more he will find he has to know."
Science
"All our pursuits, from childhood to manhood, are only trifles of different sorts and sizes, proportioned to our years and views."
Family
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