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"Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers."
People
"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"
Time
"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."
Iraq
"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."
War
"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."
God
"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."
Father
"If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet."
Want
"The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."
Crime
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
Men
"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates."
God
More
"If you want to be happy, be."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When you focus on want, you become an endless cycle of wants."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Only those who want everything done for them are bored."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I do want to go another way - to write something completely different."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you want to be loved, be lovable."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't say "the White House wants." Buildings can't want."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I didn't want it to be a book that made pronouncements."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We all want to look younger, become stronger and healthier and live longer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm not going to become anybody I don't want to become."
Author Name
Personal Development
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