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Jay Leno

"If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet."

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"If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet."

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Asa Don Brown

"If you want to be happy, be."

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"When they are alone they want to be with others, and when they are with others they want to be alone. After all, human beings are like that."

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Asa Don Brown

"If you want to be loved, be lovable."

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"The only truly affluent are those who do not want more than they have."

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"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

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"Far more crucial than what we know or do not know is what we do not want to know."

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Asa Don Brown

"I do want to go another way - to write something completely different."

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"What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others."

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Asa Don Brown

"Don't say "the White House wants." Buildings can't want."

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Asa Don Brown

"I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me."

Explore more quotes by Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
"The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most."
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Jay Leno
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
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Jay Leno
"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."
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Jay Leno
"Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!"
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Jay Leno
"If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet."
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Jay Leno
"According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it."
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Jay Leno
"Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner."
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Jay Leno
"Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate."
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Jay Leno
"Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution."
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Jay Leno
"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"
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