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David Letterman

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."

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"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."

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Donna Grant

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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Donna Grant

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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Donna Grant

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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Donna Grant

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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Donna Grant

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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Donna Grant

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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Donna Grant

"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

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Donna Grant

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

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Donna Grant

"Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them, acting. People you know, yet can't quite name."

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Donna Grant

"The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action."

Explore more quotes by David Letterman

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David Letterman
"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."
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David Letterman
"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
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David Letterman
"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."
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David Letterman
"Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger."
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David Letterman
"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."
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David Letterman
"The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral."
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David Letterman
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
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David Letterman
"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."
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David Letterman
"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"
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David Letterman
"For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home."
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