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"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
Author Name
Personal Development

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
Author Name
Personal Development

"That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics!"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it."
Author Name
Personal Development

"My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I remember nearly having a fit of the giggles during the reading because dear Daniel was SO respectful and serious and I was finding the whole situation funny because I was speaking to his profile."
Author Name
Personal Development

"James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was."
Author Name
Personal Development

"It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'"
Coffee

"I praticed making faces in the mirror and it would drive my mother crazy. She used to scare me by saying that I was going to see the devil if I kept looking in the mirror. That fascinated me even more, of course."
Mother

"I'm so wrapped up in my work that it's often impossible to consider other things in my life. My marriage ended in divorce because of this, my relationship with Holly has suffered by this."
Marriage

"I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny."
Funny

"I need privacy. I would think that because what I do makes a lot of people happy that I might deserve a little bit of respect in return. Instead, the papers try to drag me off my pedestal."
People

"Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me."
Day

"I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's all theater."
Career

"I'm a hard guy to live with. I'm like a caged animal. I'm up all night walking around the living room. It's hard for me to come down from what I do."
Living

"That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down.'"
Money

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
Eating
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