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"I won't write my autobiography because I never had an affair with Frank Sinatra, and if I had had, I wouldn't tell anyone."
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"A poet or prose narrator usually looks back on what he has achieved against a backdrop of the years that have passed, generally finding that some of these achievements are acceptable, while others are less so."
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"I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography."
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"I might go on discussing this subject at great length, but after all is said, done, and written, my own book of experiences will best show what these obstacles are, and how I managed to overcome them to some extent."
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"I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
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"If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography."
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"One of the most attractive things about writing your autobiography is that you're not dead."
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"In a word I was a pioneer, and therefore had to blaze my own trail."
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"I believe there's only one autobiography you can do."
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"And then I wrote my first autobiography when I - well, it was 23 years ago. And since then I've written about one book every two years."
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"Autobiography is probably the most respectable form of lying."
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"There may be a better one somewhere, but I haven't caught her at it."
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"I won't write my autobiography because I never had an affair with Frank Sinatra, and if I had had, I wouldn't tell anyone."
Autobiography

"Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed."
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