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"I won't write my autobiography because I never had an affair with Frank Sinatra, and if I had had, I wouldn't tell anyone."
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"I might go on discussing this subject at great length, but after all is said, done, and written, my own book of experiences will best show what these obstacles are, and how I managed to overcome them to some extent."

"I have a children's book already out and my autobiography."

"I've been working on my autobiography, just pecking away in longhand. The more you write, the more you remember. The more you remember, the more detail you recall. It's not all pleasant!"

"Autobiography begins with a sense of being alone. It is an orphan form."

"I spent most of this afternoon writing a new introduction for my autobiography."

"In a word I was a pioneer, and therefore had to blaze my own trail."

"Just as there is nothing between the admirable omelet and the intolerable, so with autobiography."

"If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography."

"There may be a point where I may decide to write an autobiography."

"I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography."
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"I won't write my autobiography because I never had an affair with Frank Sinatra, and if I had had, I wouldn't tell anyone."
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