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"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."
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"Children can see the beatitudes in nature."
Explore more quotes by Fred Allen
"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary."
"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."
"Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything."
"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."
"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart."
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