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"I'm an expert on one-armed Herdazian jokes. 'Lopen,' my mother always says, 'you must learn these to laugh before others do. Then you steal the laughter from them, and have it all for yourself."
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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Explore more quotes by Brandon Sanderson
"I don't want to make people mad. I just... well, how can people get better if you don't tell them what you honestly think?"
"Lightsong met the man's eyes, then smiled broadly, looking down at the God King. "My life to yours," Lifesong said. "My breath become yours."
"Men like you preach change, but I wonder. Is this a battle we can really fight?"You're fighting it already, Goodman Mennis. You're just losing horribly."
"Shallan's mental image of Jasnah Kholin was of someone almost divine. It was, upon reflection, an odd way to regard a determined atheist."
"The strong lines of the woman's face bespoke hard-won wisdom and courage, and somehow that made watching her more difficult. If such a woman could be defeated by Elantris, what hope was there for Raoden?"
"Sometimes the prize is not worth the costs. The means by which we achieve victory are as important as the victory itself."
"People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort."
"What a pair they were - a Mistborn who felt guilty wasting coins to jump and a nobleman who thought balls were too expensive."
"He was a man. Just a man. Yet, you always knew he'd succeed. He made you be what he wanted you to be."
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