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"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
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"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A civil servant doesn't make jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
Worth
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
Worth
"I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy."
Beer
"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
Jokes
"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
Disaster
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."
Today
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
Boxing
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
School
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