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"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."
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"When on my return to England I showed the cast of the cranium to Professor Huxley, he remarked at once that it was the most ape-like skull he had ever beheld."
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Personal Development
"In England, it's now Sir Ben. Mister has just disappeared. It's not even on my passport anymore. They've taken Mister away from me."
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Personal Development
"I've got a farm in England where I breed horses."
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Personal Development
"If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts."
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Personal Development
"Around the property I have here, I'm about to put an all weather race track. I'm about to build stables. I'm about to ship over a couple of my thoroughbreds from England."
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Personal Development
"I'm an anglophile. I visit England regularly, sometimes three or four times a year, at least once a year."
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Personal Development
"Though born in Nova Scotia, I am of almost pure New England descent."
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Personal Development
"Horses pretty much broke as a record in England."
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Personal Development
"It has always been difficult to get Big Bird to be very pretty. Big Bird in England is much more gorgeous."
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Personal Development
"And it was only released in London last week, so when I go back to England Monday or whatever, I am expecting heaps of adulation. I'm hoping there is. If that doesn't happen I will be disappointed."
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"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
People
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
Wife
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
Disaster
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."
People
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
Family
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
School
"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."
Today
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Life
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
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