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Emo Philips

"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

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"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

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Donna Grant

"In England, we don't have any guns whatsoever."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Around the property I have here, I'm about to put an all weather race track. I'm about to build stables. I'm about to ship over a couple of my thoroughbreds from England."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I grew up in the early '70s in New England."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"If only Vivien Leigh had stayed in England, that part would have been mine."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"My agent set up a meeting with George Lucas. They were casting in England."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"My agent tells me I am drawing the largest salary ever paid in the halls of England. Wonderful, isn't it? for a quiet, rural gardener like myself."

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Donna Grant

"If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts."

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Donna Grant

"Horses pretty much broke as a record in England."

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Emo Philips
"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

England

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Emo Philips
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."

Night

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Emo Philips
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."

Family

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Emo Philips
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

Night

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Emo Philips
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

First

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Emo Philips
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."

Sex

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Emo Philips
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

Coffee

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Emo Philips
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

Computer

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Emo Philips
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

Time

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Emo Philips
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."

Evil

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