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Emo Philips

"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

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"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

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Emo Philips
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."

Disaster

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Emo Philips
"I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy."

Beer

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Emo Philips
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

Boxing

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Emo Philips
"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."

People

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Emo Philips
"Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy."

Brother

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Emo Philips
"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."

Jokes

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Emo Philips
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."

Night

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Emo Philips
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."

Evil

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Emo Philips
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

Love

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Emo Philips
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

Coffee

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Aberjhani

"Fortunately for England, all her imports are raw materials."

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Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"While the struggle for religious liberty had proceeded without large-scale bloodshed in New England and elsewhere in the United States, the struggle for political liberty had not fared so well."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I grew up in the early '70s in New England."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I knew that I had a following here in England, and if I came over here maybe I could cultivate it, but I never dreamt it would be as great as it has been."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Yeah, we went to England to do a show and I got off the plane and I couldn't write my name or hold my hand up."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"And it was only released in London last week, so when I go back to England Monday or whatever, I am expecting heaps of adulation. I'm hoping there is. If that doesn't happen I will be disappointed."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I was born in Middlesex, England, which is really London."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Land, in England, is valuable, because we have highly-paid artisans to consume the produce on the spot."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"In terms of soccer, it wasn't really a thing that girls did. In England it more kind of Net Ball and Hockey and stuff like that in athletics. It's to each their own, really."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"It was doing very well; it was doing particularly well outside of England. It was a very big seller for Carlton Television. But it was getting more and more expensive to do."

Author Name

Personal Development

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