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"Great," Shane said. "Look i'd rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners.""And to cleaning," Michael said."Look who's talking, Didn't the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in your room?"
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"And without forgiveness, there is never any peace."
Peace
"Does it give you deja voodoo how alike the houses are?""That's deja vu, and I hate you right now.""For narcing on you to your mom? Wait until you hear what I tell your dad."From the sly grin on his face, she knew what he was thinking."Don't you even think about it.""I could tell him about the time we-""Hell, no."
Humor
"I had a good teacher.""Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass.""I mean you, dummy."
Friendship
"Losing one pint of blood's an accident. Losing two is carelessness."
Humor
"You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?"
Optimism
"You can't go around... licking things that come out of a water treatment plant. That's just... unsanitary."
Humor
"They came out in a dim, damp basement - a generic sort of place, full of moulding boxes. 'You take me to the nicest places,' Claire said, and sneezed."
Humor
"Get in here and make me some dinner-now, woman.""News flash, Michael, you're supposed to be evil, not redneck!"
Humor
"You know," I said to Michael, "my girlfriend took him down with a broken tree branch." "Too bad she isn't here," he said."
Social
"There are always a few, Claire, who like being told what to do instead of being required to think. And those are the ones you should fear. That goes equally for humans, I'm afraid. Critical thinking has become a sadly rare skill these days."
Mind
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
Author Name
Personal Development
"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
Author Name
Personal Development
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