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"At a national political convention, you have hundreds of people who consider themselves at least as important as the Secretary of Commerce. If it's a Democratic convention, you also have dozens of A-list Hollywood and music celebrities. (If it's a Republican convention, you have Bo Derek.) Also you have swarms of lower-ranking Washington minions with titles like Deputy Assistant to the Associate Deputy Assistant Chief of Staff who are trying to move up the ladder to Deputy Associate to the Assistant Acting Deputy Assistant Understudy."
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"Patriotism is the narcissism of countries."
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Personal Development
"Extreme positions are not succeeded by moderate ones, but by contrary extreme positions."
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Personal Development
"Some people had attack dogs. Ghastek had attack lawyers."
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Personal Development
"All authority belongs to the people."
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Personal Development
"A reactionary is a somnambulist walking backwards."
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"Communism, I observed, "is a pile of wank."
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Personal Development
"Our democracy is but a name. We vote? What does that mean? It means we choose between two bodies of real, though not avowed, autocrats. We choose between Tweedledum and Tweedledee..."
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"Make them fear you. Machiavelli said it nearly six hundred years ago, but it's still true. Every ruler should strive for his people to love him. But if they cannot love you, then make them fear you. Love is better, but fear will do the job."
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"I seldom think of politics more than eighteen hours a day."
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"An empty stomach is not a good political adviser."
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"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
Computer
"Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!"
Job
"You're only young once but you can always be immature."
Humor
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
Religion
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
Humor
"The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter."
Sports
"My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible."
Humor
"It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money."
Art
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."
Society
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
Science
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