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"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"
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"True friendship is a house where we can take off our masks."
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Personal Development
"To lose a worthless friend is worthy of a testimony."
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Personal Development
"A true friend is a reflection of yourself."
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Personal Development
"Good fences make good neighbors, and these were apparently good enough that they had not felt the need for razor wire at the top. I crested the fence, threw myself into the yard beyond, fell, rolled to my feet, and ran with the expectation of being garroted by a taut clothesline.I heard panting, looked down, and saw a gold retriever running at my side, ears flapping. The dog glanced up at me tongue rolling, grinning, as though jazzed by the prospect of an unscheduled play session."
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Personal Development
"I to myself am dearer than a friend."
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Personal Development
"One friend in a storm is worth more than a thousand friends in sunshine."
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Personal Development
"A friend is someone who will always be there for you, in good and hard times."
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Personal Development
"Don't appreciate me, I'm not up to it. Don't criticize me, I don't deserve it. Just be my friend and forgive me, because I am craving for it."
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Personal Development
"If you fulfill God's will, then God will always be your friend."
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Personal Development
"Friendship, neglected, is like a flower deprived of water and sunlight."
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Personal Development
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"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
Work
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
Love
"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."
Dogs
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
Life
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
Fun
"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"
Friendship
"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."
Word
"I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day."
Day
"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."
Want
"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something."
Fish
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