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"I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."
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"I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am not the Catholic candidate for President. I am the Democratic Party's candidate for President, who happens also to be a Catholic."
Author Name
Personal Development
"But Hale's warning the President about going to Dallas was that there was great infighting among the members of the Democratic party and the Democratic stars in the state and he didn't want the President to become involved in a factional disagreement."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was at a party three weeks prior to the murders at Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate's house."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whereas Jeremy is just the opposite: always moving because he's never really thinking of anything and the kind of guy you'd worry inviting to a dinner party because he says what he thinks. He can be insulting at times but doesn't mean to be."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A lot of Republicans are white Christians, but the Republican Party is reaching out to Hispanics, and reaching out to blacks, and reaching out to Asians."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Had he learned to draw, M. Renoir would have made a very pleasing canvas out of his 'Boating Party'."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am sure that the party system is right and necessary. There must be some scum."
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Personal Development
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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
Art
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
Government
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Money
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day
"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
Politics
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Funny
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
People
"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."
Ignorance
"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."
People
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
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