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"Partly because the town is just finicky, there are strange Catch 22 clauses in the consciousness of this community and one of them was that you, I found out, you can't do a comedy unless you've just done a comedy."
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"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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"Then my first film was something called Cannibal Girls, which sounds like a horror movie but was actually kind of a goofy comedy with horror elements. Like a horror spoof."
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"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy."
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"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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"You can't always go by the book, even in comedy."
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Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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"In a comedy it helps enhance things that were already there."
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Explore more quotes by Val Kilmer
"I'm very wary of news on television."
News
"News is something that happens that matters to you, which is not most of what we watch on television."
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"Postman is a media analyst and his theory is that television doesn't influence our culture, but that it is our culture and the presidency and anything that relies on television."
Culture
"I respect people who can do both careers, like Will Smith and a couple of other people who have done it, but I just don't know when they sleep."
People
"The first play I saw was a Samuel Beckett play which was great."
First
"Partly because the town is just finicky, there are strange Catch 22 clauses in the consciousness of this community and one of them was that you, I found out, you can't do a comedy unless you've just done a comedy."
Comedy
"I have two children and they're young yet but all of the children that I know really inspire me."
Children
"I sang the songs in 'The Doors'."
Music
"Again, in Wag the Dog, war has to be declared by an act of congress. But if you go to war, you don't have to declare war. You're just at war and we did that, which is not legal."
Legal
"A lot of old guys in movies are like cowboys - they talk like cowboys and they dress like cowboys."
Movies
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