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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."
Jokes
"There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views."
Country
"Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about."
News
"I don't think HBO would want to do anything in conjunction with Sub Pop but I never asked either."
Want
"We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins."
First
"I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner."
Hate
"My biggest problem is retaining the exact information."
Information
"Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush."
Free thinking
"I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate."
War
"I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best."
People
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