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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
Author Name
Personal Development
"God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock."
Author Name
Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"People who run a ready-to-wear company are businessmen rather than production or design people."
Design
"People read things into my commercials that don't even exist."
People
"I guess I don't have a proper perspective on my fame; if I did, I don't think I'd like it."
Fame
"AIDS is an absolutely tragic disease. The argument about AIDS' being some kind of divine retribution is crap."
Argument
"I don't always want my opinion known. What little privacy I have left I'd like to maintain."
Opinion
"People in their 70s can still have incredible lives. Health is the most important thing."
Health
"I don't dwell on success. Maybe that's one reason I'm successful."
Success
"I have the reputation of being easygoing. But inside, I'm like nails. I will kill."
Being
"I certainly feel that an adult woman has a right to determine what happens to her life and body."
Life
"If I allow journalists to describe a collection and they make mistakes, I'm upset, because the retractions are never noticed."
Mistake
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