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"Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development
"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development
"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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"The chief cause of problems is solutions."
Cause
"Better to trust the man who is frequently in error than the one who is never in doubt."
Trust
"Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor."
Humor
"The most distinguished hallmark of the American society is and always has been change."
Change
"I have never quite grasped the worry about the power of the press. After all, it speaks with a thousand voices, in constant dissonance."
Power
"The difference between the men and the boys in politics is, and always has been, that the boys want to be something, while the men want to do something."
Man
"I'm sort of a pessimist about tomorrow and an optimist about the day after tomorrow."
Optimism
"Men want power in order to do something. Boys want power in order to be something."
Man
"Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."
Death
"Consultant: any ordinary guy more than fifty miles from home."
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