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"I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is."
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"Having played many roles of scientific intellect I do have an empathy for that world. It's been hard on me because flying the Enterprise for seven years in Star Trek and sitting in Cerebro in X-men has led people to believe that I know what I'm talking about. But I'm still trying to work out how to operate the air conditioning unit on my car."
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Personal Development

"So for a year I spent all my time hiding from Jack Charlton in the car park practising my skills."
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Personal Development

"We each own one car, and we have a reasonable house. It's a lovely place to be, but it's not extravagant."
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Personal Development

"The city needs a car like a fish needs a bicycle."
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Personal Development

"There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car."
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Personal Development

"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
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Personal Development

"I sing both in my shower and in my car, mostly in my car, because I have this weird thing - whenever I'm singing to the radio - my friends kind of hate it - but I pick out the harmonies in my head, and I'm singing the harmonies to the tracks and I'm jamming it out."
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Personal Development

"Never have more children than you have car windows."
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Personal Development

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
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Personal Development

"Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car."
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"Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car."
Car

"I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is."
Car

"How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican."
God

"Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale."
Fear

"I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian."
President

"There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it."
Humor

"Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars."
War
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