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"I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is."
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car and drive."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One morning, about four o'clock, I was driving my car just about as fast as I could. I thought, Why am I out this time of night? I was miserable, and it came to me: I'm falling in love with somebody I have no right to fall in love with."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I will never have a drink and get behind the wheel of a car. It's not illegal to drink and drive, but there becomes a certain point where it does become a crime."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One of my biggest problems this season was with the clutch at the start of the race. I hate to risk the car."
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Personal Development
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"There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it."
Humor
"Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars."
War
"I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian."
President
"How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican."
God
"I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is."
Car
"Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car."
Car
"Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale."
Fear
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