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"I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is."
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"I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian."
President

"Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars."
War

"Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car."
Car

"Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale."
Fear

"There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it."
Humor

"How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican."
God

"I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is."
Car
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
Author Name
Personal Development

"It's a massive motor in a tiny, lightweight car."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Get in the race car do what I do then go home. We don't have freedom to do anything anymore."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Divorced men are more likely to meet their car payments than their child support obligations."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Unfortunately we don't have all the bits and pieces on the car that we had hoped to have by this stage so we've got to make as good a job as we can with what we have and we feel we are doing well with that at the moment."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."
Author Name
Personal Development
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