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"It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right."
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"Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there."
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Personal Development
"If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable."
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Personal Development
"Some things you know about, you know what the ingredients are - maybe not all of them. But it's up to you to put in the amount. It's up to the director to nag you until you get it right."
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Personal Development
"Stand, you've been sitting much too long, there's a permanent crease in your right or wrong."
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Personal Development
"When I sing, trouble can sit right on my shoulder and I don't even notice."
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Personal Development
"It's so hard to know what to do when one wishes earnestly to do right."
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Personal Development
"If you have to do it, then you're doing the right thing."
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Personal Development
"He must not laugh at his own wheeze: a snuff box has no right to sneeze."
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Personal Development
"I let things roll right off me. I don't stay mad long."
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Personal Development
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"As the purpose of comedy is to correct the vices of men, I see no reason why anyone should be exempt."
Men
"I want to be distinguished from the rest; to tell the truth, a friend to all mankind is not a friend for me."
Truth
"Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money."
Money
"Oh, I may be devout, but I am human all the same."
May
"Don't appear so scholarly, pray. Humanize your talk, and speak to be understood."
Talk
"A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation."
Behavior
"I prefer a pleasant vice to an annoying virtue."
Virtue
"It's true Heaven forbids some pleasures, but a compromise can usually be found."
Compromise
"Love is often the fruit of marriage."
Love
"The more we love our friends, the less we flatter them; it is by excusing nothing that pure love shows itself."
Love
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