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"Most people don't know that I am an accomplished dramatic actor... But I've performed in several Shakespeare productions including Hamlet, except in this version, Hamlet lives in an apartment with two women, and has to pretend he's gay so that the landlord won't evict him."
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"I tell women not to believe everything they read about fashion."
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"There was never yet fair woman but she made mouths in a glass."
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Personal Development
"After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi."
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Personal Development
"There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner."
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Personal Development
"Genteel women suppose that those things do not really exist about which it is impossible to talk in polite company."
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Personal Development
"Chandler's the guy everybody thinks will do well with women, but he thinks too much and says the wrong thing."
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Personal Development
"Aren't women prudes if they don't and prostitutes if they do?"
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Personal Development
"The real ornament of a woman is her character, her purity."
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"But what of black women?... I most sincerely doubt if any other race of women could have brought its fineness up through so devilish a fire."
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"A sexual revolution begins with the emancipation of women, who are the chief victims of patriarchy, and also with the ending of homosexual oppression."
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"I knew when I grew up, I always wanted to be a liar, and if you're in television, you're lying because you're just pretending to be yourself much like I'm doing now."
Lying
"Once during a taping there was an actor who kept blowing his lines. It happened again and again. Finally Norman Fell came out-he wasn't even in that scene. But Norman came out and you know what he did? He killed the guy with a hammer."
Actor
"Most people don't know that I am an accomplished dramatic actor... But I've performed in several Shakespeare productions including Hamlet, except in this version, Hamlet lives in an apartment with two women, and has to pretend he's gay so that the landlord won't evict him."
Woman
"If I found a cure for a huge disease, while I was hobbling up onstage to accept the Nobel Prize they'd be playing the theme song from 'Three's Company'."
Company
"Me a TV star? I've got to be the luckiest guy in the world."
World
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