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"I want to host a religious show. I'm sure nobody will be wanting the 11 o'clock spot on Sunday morning. I think we should really get some of our own preachers and preach that gay is good. And we'd have a great choir."
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"An awful lot of gay pop stars pretend to be straight. I'm going to start a movement of straight pop stars pretending to be gay."
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Personal Development
"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
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Personal Development
"Gay Liberation? I ain't against it, it's just that there's nothing in it for me."
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Personal Development
"It would have been convenient to be gay. Just because of the grooming, the narcissism, stuff like that. But I have this kind of roaring heterosexuality. Traditional, uncomplicated heterosexuality, an almost cliched Robin Askwith thing."
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Personal Development
"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."
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Personal Development
"It was a pleasure to be a gay eyesore."
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Personal Development
"I am pleased now that I have lived in a gay as well as a religious ghetto, though it hasn't been very comfortable. Taken together, their limitations cancel each other out and I have seen the world more kindly and more honestly."
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Personal Development
"I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay."
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Personal Development
"My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock."
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Personal Development
"I've just found out there are pages on the internet dedicated to whether I'm gay or not."
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"What goes for sex goes double for politics."
Politics
"As you can imagine I'm disappointed as anything that I was not selected to be the presidential running mate. And I find it continually appalling that it would be a radical thing to have a woman on the ticket."
Radical
"I definitely want people to laugh because I don't think there's a better feeling - I think it's just so fabulous to laugh. I don't mind if people think, either. I think the brain is a very sexy organ."
People
"I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times."
Woman
"A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid."
Friendship
"I try something new every night. It's an hour show; if it works I maybe try it a few more times and then move that off and try something new. It's a great workshop for me."
Night
"When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out."
Brother
"I want to host a religious show. I'm sure nobody will be wanting the 11 o'clock spot on Sunday morning. I think we should really get some of our own preachers and preach that gay is good. And we'd have a great choir."
Gay
"Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it."
Humor
"They didn't even like Margaret Thatcher but at least there was Margaret Thatcher. There have been women, you know, Sonia Gandhi for heaven's sakes in India."
Woman
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