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"When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there."
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Personal Development

"Naturally, since I myself am a writer, I do not wish the ordinary reader to read no modern books. But if he must read only the new or only the old, I would advise him to read the old."
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Personal Development

"Never give anyone the advice to buy or sell shares, because the most benevolent price of advice can turn out badly."
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Personal Development

"The first rule when you are in a hole is to ask for a hand out!"
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Personal Development

"The advice that is wanted is commonly not welcome and that which is not wanted, evidently an effrontery."
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Personal Development

"O that men's ears should be To counsel deaf but not to flattery!"
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Personal Development

"The fiend gives the more friendly counsel."
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Personal Development

"Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example."
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Personal Development

"Never let your education interfere with your learning."
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Personal Development

"Meg, what I'm about to do - never, ever try this on your own." I felt a bit silly giving this advice to a girl who regulartly fought monsters with golden swords, but I had promised Bill Nye the Science Guy I would always promote safe laboratory practices."
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"But you can't just leave it at that!" said Anathema, pushing forward. "Think of all things you could do! Good things."Like what?" said Adam suspiciously."Well... you could bring all the whales back, to start with."He put his head on one side. "An' that'd stop people killing them?"She hesitated. It would have been nice to say yes."An' if people do start killing 'em, what would you ask me to do about 'em?" said Adam. "No. I reckon I'm getting the hang of this now. Once I start messing around like that, there'd be no stoppin' it. Seems to me, the only sensible thing is for people to know if they kill a whale, they've got a dead whale."
Ethics

"Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.''Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl."
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"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Humor

"One cannot help feeling that some alternative occupation-lettuce farming, say-would offer somewhat less of a risk of being put to death by installments. Why do you persist in it?Goldeneyes Dactylos shrugged."I'm good at it, he said."
Purpose

"Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself."
Writing

"I believe the term is 'eminent domain.'Ah, yes. That means 'theft by the government."
Politics

"It's all about balance, do you see? Balance is the trick. Keep the balance and - " she stopped. "You've ridden on a seesaw? One end goes up, one end goes down. But the bit in the middle, that stays where it is. Upness and downness go right through it. Don't matter how high or low the ends go, it keeps the balance." She sniffed. "Magic is mostly movin' stuff around."
Life

"Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you."
Wisdom

"Questions don't have to make sense, Vincent," said Miss Susan. "But answers do."
Wisdom

"Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"
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