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"Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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"There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward."
Pleasure


"The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed."
Family


"Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute."
Comedy


"To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph."
Duty


"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward."
Life


"I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print."
Fear


"No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails."
Commonsense


"The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself."
Boredom


"All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting."
Family


"There is always time for failure."
Time
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