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Colin Mochrie

"As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers."

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"As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers."

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"When I stop working the rest of the day is posthumous. I'm only really alive when I'm writing."

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"There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators."

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"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

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"So foul and fair a day I have not seen."

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"In designing hardware to be used every day, it was important to keep both the human aspects and the machine in mind. What looks good also often feels good."

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"Whenever I get a free day, I drive up to some part of California that looks promising on the map."

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"Never be afraid to stand with the minority when the minority is right, for the minority which is right will one day be the majority."

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"Although it was in primitive times and differently called the Lord's day or Sunday, yet it was never denominated the Sabbath; a name constantly appropriate to Saturday, or the Seventh day both by sacred and ecclesiastical writers."

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"So, once I get writing I really try and put five to eight hours a day in my room with a guitar to really try and come up with stuff that feels interesting enough to me to keep it."

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Colin Mochrie
"When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage."
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Colin Mochrie
"There are so many things I'd like to change in the industry. Everything from the reliance of style over substance to their reluctance to hire me for big budget blockbusters, but the thing I would love most would be if they understood people don't have to be Hollywood beautiful to be sexy or interesting."
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Colin Mochrie
"My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever."
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Colin Mochrie
"We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second."
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Colin Mochrie
"There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky."
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Colin Mochrie
"You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school."
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Colin Mochrie
"Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!"
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Colin Mochrie
"The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge."
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Colin Mochrie
"Hey, Ryan, if Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?"
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Colin Mochrie
"Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises."
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