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"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."
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"The real beauty of a house is always the happiness inside that house!"

"We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did-a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor."

"Grandchildren are their grandparents' toys."
Explore more quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."

"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
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