"Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either."

Lie, Man

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"Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either."

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"Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment."

Hope

"Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures."

Science

"America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week."

Money

"A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name."

Character

"A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended."

Relationship

"The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last."

Wealth

"Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it."

Houses

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"When it comes to my own turn to lay my weapons down, I shall do so with thankfulness and fatigue, and whatever be my destiny afterward, I shall be glad to lie down with my fathers in honor. It is human at least, if not divine."

Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish Writer

Lie, Destiny, Fathers, Fatigue

"A lie never lives to be old."

Sophocles, Greek Poet

Lie, Old

"There is nothing we like to communicate to others as much as the seal of secrecy together with what lies under it."

Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philosopher

Lie, Lies, Nothing, Secrecy

"Unless a man feels he has a good enough memory, he should never venture to lie."

Michel de Montaigne, French Philosopher

Lie, Man, Memory

"Lies are sufficient to breed opinion, and opinion brings on substance."

Francis Bacon, English Philosopher

Lie, Lies, Opinion

"Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all."

Edmund Burke, Irish Statesman

Lie, Sin, Tools

"One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie."

Pierre Corneille, French Dramatist

Lie, Memory

"A lie has no leg, but a scandal has wings."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

Lie, Scandal

"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Lie, Lies

"A child's appetite for new toys appeal to the desire for ownership and appropriation: the appeal of toys comes to lie not in their use but in their status as possessions."

Christopher Lasch, American Historian

Lie, Appetite, Desire, Ownership

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Explore more quotes by Evan Esar

"Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment."

"Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures."

"Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings."

"A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much."

"The girl with a future avoids a man with a past."

"America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week."

"A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name."

"A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended."

"The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last."

"Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it."

Exlpore more Lie quotes

"When it comes to my own turn to lay my weapons down, I shall do so with thankfulness and fatigue, and whatever be my destiny afterward, I shall be glad to lie down with my fathers in honor. It is human at least, if not divine."

"A lie never lives to be old."

"There is nothing we like to communicate to others as much as the seal of secrecy together with what lies under it."

"Unless a man feels he has a good enough memory, he should never venture to lie."

"Lies are sufficient to breed opinion, and opinion brings on substance."

"Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all."

"One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie."

"A lie has no leg, but a scandal has wings."

"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown."

"A child's appetite for new toys appeal to the desire for ownership and appropriation: the appeal of toys comes to lie not in their use but in their status as possessions."