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Lily Tomlin

"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific."

Now,
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"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific."

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Amber Hurdle

"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro."

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Amber Hurdle

"Now I have to have the biggest P.O. box in the entire post office to get all the manuscripts coming in."

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"We all now tell stories by cutting from one dramatic scene to the next, whereas Victorian novelists felt free to write long passages of undramatic summary."

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Amber Hurdle

"He said it was artificial respiration, but now I find I am to have his child."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm writing a new book right now that is like an erotica manifesto."

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Amber Hurdle

"You will now have a starting place and a destination, and you will be able to determine what it will cost you to get there. You will be going someplace."

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Amber Hurdle

"Schools used to fund-raise for luxuries, like a trip to the water slides. Now, we fund-raise for things we have to have."

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Amber Hurdle

"Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you are not happy here and now, you never will be."

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"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
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"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else."
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"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."
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"There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic."
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"The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat."
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Lily Tomlin
"If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed."
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Lily Tomlin
"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework."
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Lily Tomlin
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
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"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"
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"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."
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