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Mitch Hedberg

"I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring."

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"I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring."

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Akiroq Brost

"Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book."

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Akiroq Brost

"Would I come off as a creepy-stalker-kind-of-guy or would it demonstrate that I cared?"

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Akiroq Brost

"I suspect that no community will become humane and caring by restricting what its members can say."

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Akiroq Brost

"Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community."

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Akiroq Brost

"I think that a man should be caring."

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Akiroq Brost

"Caring is not bossing somebody around, it only shows you're very insensitive to other peoples' feelings."

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Akiroq Brost

"I married him for a green card. We had a really great, caring relationship; it just obviously wasn't right for me."

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Akiroq Brost

"Eventually you can get into the nuts and bolts of reality: nurturing, caring, and getting along."

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Akiroq Brost

"We remember Kurt for what he was: caring, generous and sweet."

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Akiroq Brost

"I'm a very caring person."

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg
"I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
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Mitch Hedberg
"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
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