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Mitch Hedberg

"I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring."

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"I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring."

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"I suspect that no community will become humane and caring by restricting what its members can say."

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"I married him for a green card. We had a really great, caring relationship; it just obviously wasn't right for me."

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"I think that a man should be caring."

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"Caring is not bossing somebody around, it only shows you're very insensitive to other peoples' feelings."

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"I'm a very caring person."

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"Would I come off as a creepy-stalker-kind-of-guy or would it demonstrate that I cared?"

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"Eventually you can get into the nuts and bolts of reality: nurturing, caring, and getting along."

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"We remember Kurt for what he was: caring, generous and sweet."

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"Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book."

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"I'm saddened to see that some have been misled into believing that Mr. Disney was something other than a kind, caring man."

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Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."

Gambling

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Mitch Hedberg
"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."

Sister

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Mitch Hedberg
"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."

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Mitch Hedberg
"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."

Saying

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Mitch Hedberg
"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."

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Mitch Hedberg
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"

Children

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Mitch Hedberg
"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."

Water

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Mitch Hedberg
"Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes."

People

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Mitch Hedberg
"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

People

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Mitch Hedberg
"People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."

Life

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