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"There is also this benefit in brag, that the speaker is unconsciously expressing his own ideal. Humor him by all means, draw it all out, and hold him to it."
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"I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development
"I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating."
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Personal Development
"I enjoy slaughtering beasts, and I think of my relatives constantly."
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Personal Development
"Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals."
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Personal Development
"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when its waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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"Truth indeed rather alleviates than hurts, and will always bear up against falsehood, as oil does above water."
Truth
"God bears with the wicked, but not forever."
God
"The eyes those silent tongues of love."
Love
"Thou hast seen nothing yet."
Nothing
"One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world will be better for this."
Courage
"Our hours in love have wings; in absence, crutches."
Love
"Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn."
Power
"The most difficult character in comedy is that of the fool, and he must be no simpleton that plays that part."
Character
"From reading too much, and sleeping too little, his brain dried up on him and he lost his judgment."
Reading
"A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience."
Experience
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