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Erma Bombeck

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

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"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

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Donna Grant

"There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration."

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Donna Grant

"I wake about 1 a.m. I'm in the office by 2 a.m. We're on the air at 5."

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Donna Grant

"In the Astronaut Office we're never totally out of training, we always keep our hand in it. But after five years, things have changed and so it's been good to get back into the flow and relearn a lot of things."

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Donna Grant

"When you're out of office, you can be a statesman."

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Donna Grant

"I wanted a theory that would allow one to live outside the office with the same philosophy one uses inside it."

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Donna Grant

"Look at the number of cop shows and lawyer shows and forensics shows... I think there could be room for two quite different examinations of the same political office."

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Donna Grant

"I reckon this could mean another 10 million at the box office."

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Donna Grant

"It did not prepare me for writing or "Power of Attorney." However, what it did is that it forced me out of the DA's office. I stopped getting that county check."

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Donna Grant

"Our office acts like a kind of educational establishment and we are very careful who we educate."

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Donna Grant

"The United States brags about its political system, but the President says one thing during the election, something else when he takes office, something else at midterm and something else when he leaves."

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Erma Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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Erma Bombeck
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
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Erma Bombeck
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
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Erma Bombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
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Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
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Erma Bombeck
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
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Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
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Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
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