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"He was there below me, and, upon my word, to look at him was as edifying as seeing a dog in a parody of breeches and a featherhat, walking on his hind legs."
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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development
"I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when its waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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Personal Development
"God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock."
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Personal Development
"There's folks 'ud stand on their heads and then say the fault was i' their boots."
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Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development
"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."
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"It is not the clear-sighted who rule the world. Great achievements are accomplished in a blessed, warm fog."
World
"Nations it may be have fashioned their Governments, but the Governments have paid them back in the same coin."
Government
"It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth."
People
"History repeats itself, but the special call of an art which has passed away is never reproduced. It is as utterly gone out of the world as the song of a destroyed wild bird."
Art
"The last thing a woman will consent to discover in a man whom she loves, or on whom she simply depends, is want of courage."
Courage
"A word carries far, very far, deals destruction through time as the bullets go flying through space."
Time
"You can't, in sound morals, condemn a man for taking care of his own integrity. It is his clear duty."
Care
"There are men here and there to whom the whole of life is like an after-dinner hour with a cigar; easy, pleasant, empty, perhaps enlivened by some fable of strife to be forgotten - before the end is told - even if there happens to be any end to it."
Life
"Going home must be like going to render an account."
Home
"They talk of a man betraying his country, his friends, his sweetheart. There must be a moral bond first. All a man can betray is his conscience."
Friendship
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