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Rebecca McNutt

"Maybe a holiday miracle will change Mearth's awful behavior, Mandy suggested with optimism."The only holiday miracle around here is that Mearth hasn't murdered us both yet, said Alecto, lighting another cigarette, his hands shaking erratically. He looked exhausted and terrified, his gray eyes soulless."Do you know what Mearth likes, Alecto? Mandy questioned."Vegetables, she likes celery a lot, and lettuce, Alecto responded in a quiet monotone. "I don't know what else she likes. I've never asked her."Well, she has to like something, doesn't everyone?"Not her, Mandy Valems."

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"Maybe a holiday miracle will change Mearth's awful behavior, Mandy suggested with optimism."The only holiday miracle around here is that Mearth hasn't murdered us both yet, said Alecto, lighting another cigarette, his hands shaking erratically. He looked exhausted and terrified, his gray eyes soulless."Do you know what Mearth likes, Alecto? Mandy questioned."Vegetables, she likes celery a lot, and lettuce, Alecto responded in a quiet monotone. "I don't know what else she likes. I've never asked her."Well, she has to like something, doesn't everyone?"Not her, Mandy Valems."

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Amber Hurdle

"People suicide because of the board rules, they don't like it. So people suicide, they don't see any other out of this place!"

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Amber Hurdle

"Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss."

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Amber Hurdle

"You take away my golden dreams and my visions of paradise, in its place you wake me up and hand me your reasons and facts and crude reality. You have ruined my life. If I commit murder or hang myself, let the god I used to pray to repay you in full."

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Amber Hurdle

"Those who commit suicide, pensive, lonely, philosophers, are awake in life, which is a serious crime. In life everybody must be asleep."

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Amber Hurdle

"Thoughts and sorrows seem to have remained on the other side of the mountains. Between tormented men and hateful deeds, a person has to think and sorrow so much! Back there it is so difficult and so desperately important to find a reason for staying alive. How else should a person go on living? Sheer misery makes one profound."

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Amber Hurdle

"My body rises with the water. Instead of kicking my feet to stay abreast of it, I push all the air from my lungs and sink to the bottom. The water muffles my ears. I feel its movement over my face. I think about snorting the water into my lungs so it kills me faster, but I can't bring myself to do it. I blow bubbles from my mouth. Relax. I close my eyes. My lungs burn."

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Amber Hurdle

"You have not wept at all! I see a white cheek and a faded eye, but no trace of tears. I suppose then, your heart has been weeping blood?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Entering by the carré, a piece of mirror-glass, set in an oaken cabinet, repeated my image. It said I was changed: my cheeks and lips were sodden white, my eyes were glassy, and my eyelids swollen and purple. On rejoining my companions, I knew they all looked at me - my heart seemed discovered to them: I believed myself self-betrayed. Hideously certain did it seem that the very youngest of the school must guess why and for whom I despaired."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is said that scattered through Despair's domain are a multitude of tiny windows, hanging in the void. Each window looks out onto a different scene, being, in our world, a mirror. Sometimes you will look into a mirror and feel the eyes of Despair upon you, feel her hook catch and snag on your heart. Despair says little, and is patient."

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Amber Hurdle

"The worst of it is that while we continue to sink deeper into the muck and mire that we've created, in the very descent itself we ignorantly declare that in reality we are rising. And until desperation has crippled us sufficiently to confess the lie that we are lifting ourselves out of this mess, and until the panic of utter hopelessness has driven us to completely surrender all of the pathetic contrivances that we've fashioned that have put us there, we will never realize that God has readied solid ground that stands but a single step away."

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Rebecca McNutt
"Nobody really wants to be your friend when they discover that you work with dead people."
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Rebecca McNutt
"I've got money! Eve exclaimed in a frantic frenzy of hope, her eyes dancing wildly with the notion that there was some way out of this. "I mean, I don't know what use money is to the Grim Reaper, but I've got a ton of cash! It's in a hat box under my bed! I've got a bright red Lexus in the garage, I've got my engagement ring upstairs, it's real gold, there must be something we can trade off with. "You can't bribe me away, I'm afraid, said Mr. Azrael. "Money means nothing where I come from."
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Rebecca McNutt
"Smile for the camera, pretty little Sydney Tar Ponds."
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Rebecca McNutt
"I don't like psychiatrists, Alecto told her. "Not because they don't think I'm real, but because they have no idea what they're doing."
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Rebecca McNutt
"Sometimes, without effort, you live in the moment. You don't regret the past or worry about the future, and in that moment everything flashes before your eyes , a clear snapshot of what has to be done, and everything pauses."
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Rebecca McNutt
"Grief is NOT a mental illness or an emotional disorder. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never experienced it for themselves."
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Rebecca McNutt
"With Pollution, emotion is irrelevant, it is not their nature, Mearth sighed, making a face as if she were talking to an ignorant small child. "I didn't create them, humans created the Pollution. Cheryl Nobel, Alecto Steele, Albert Sanders, Olivia Campbell, all my pretty little Representations, there aren't many of them left these days but they're still very dangerous! They're here to tell society all about its mistakes! You don't understand the world of Representations."
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Rebecca McNutt
"It's going to happen soon, a nuclear war. Someday, somewhere, some jackass politician will get in over his head and push the button, and us? Society? We haven't really grasped the full reality of the situation. If a nuclear bomb were detonated, we'd all just be collateral damage. That's why it has to be prevented, because trust me when I say that nobody will be standing up for our rights or life when there's no one left to do so."
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Rebecca McNutt
"How promising today's generation is. They can whip out their cellular phones like sheep, instantly take a million digital photos of their cat and then just delete them. But I'd like to see these kids try to artfully use a traditional film camera or make a super 8 home movie. Traditional film takes integrity, nostalgia, effort, patience and imagination - things that the 21st century has very little of. Everything these days, even a superior medium like film photography with an extensively vivid history and an iconic meaning, is becoming disposable in this age."
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Rebecca McNutt
"You don't have to be invisible to disappear."
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