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"It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Explore more quotes by Stephen Leacock
"A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better."
"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so."
"Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult."
"Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it."
"The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine."
"Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect."
"It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy."
"We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor."
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