Jay Leno | "I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?""

"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?""

Jay Leno, American Comedian

Yesterday,

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"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?""

"It was a great mantel to be able to take on really, an amazing legacy. And you know to finally see it, because I just saw the final product yesterday as well, is really amazing to be part of something like this."

Author Name

Personal Development

"When I reach the point that I write Yesterday, then I can retire."

Author Name

Personal Development

"It was a big story and yesterday's soup. Who cares?"

Author Name

Personal Development

"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?""

Author Name

Personal Development

"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"

Time

"The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most."

People

"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

God

"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."

Iraq

"Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate."

War

"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."

Father

"Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors."

Actor

"The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular."

War

"The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot."

Doctors

"The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets."

Crime

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"It was a great mantel to be able to take on really, an amazing legacy. And you know to finally see it, because I just saw the final product yesterday as well, is really amazing to be part of something like this."

Author Name

Personal Development

"When I reach the point that I write Yesterday, then I can retire."

Author Name

Personal Development

"It was a big story and yesterday's soup. Who cares?"

Author Name

Personal Development

"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?""

Author Name

Personal Development

More

"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"

Time

"The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most."

People

"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

God

"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."

Iraq

"Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate."

War

"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."

Father

"Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors."

Actor

"The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular."

War

"The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot."

Doctors

"The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets."

Crime