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Erma Bombeck

"It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding."

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"It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding."

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Donna Grant

"Big Brother is watching you."

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Donna Grant

"Never give up your wife, husband, children and families. Believe that people can change. Give others opportunity to change."

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Donna Grant

"It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor."

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Donna Grant

"Blessed is the womb that born you."

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Donna Grant

"Until now, you have always lived your life alone. Every decision you've made has been for you and you alone. Now, and for the rest of your days, your life will be tied to another's. Every decision you make will be for both of you. What one does affects the other. You are a family, a team inseparable and unbreakable."

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Donna Grant

"A rubber plant is just about the ideal family."

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Donna Grant

"Father, I know you will hear me, I will speak."

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Donna Grant

"When we sat down on the couch again, you curled up against my side, like you used to when you were a tod."

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Donna Grant

"I was sixteen and my mother was about to throw me out of the house forever, for breaking a very big rule, even bigger than the forbidden books. The rule was not just No Sex, but definitely No Sex With Your Own Sex."

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"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
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Erma Bombeck
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
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Erma Bombeck
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
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Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
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Erma Bombeck
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
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Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
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Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
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