"Don't be such a dumbass, Gabe. Koalas don't travel in herds. They move in heaps. Much like emus move in ripples, and kangaroos travel in photo-ops."

Humor, Nature, Animals, Observation

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"Don't be such a dumbass, Gabe. Koalas don't travel in herds. They move in heaps. Much like emus move in ripples, and kangaroos travel in photo-ops."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Humor, Truth, Power, Wisdom

"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."

George R. R. Martin, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Judgment, Truth

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien

"Because trying to think of how to ask a woman you've known for exactly two days if she'd be willing to get into a car with you and take a road trip across the country was something I hadn't quite worked up to yet."

Hesitation, Romance, Uncertainty, Courage, Humor

"Well, you played me, Rabbit. You played me, and it worked, and I'm not the kind of person to make the same mistake twice. Your whole life is a game, but you know what? I already have a life. Poker's nothing to me but a goddamn deck of cards."

Detachment, Boundaries, Integrity, Self-Respect, Choice

"I don't think Australians ever use a couple of words when twenty will do just fine."

Language, Expression, Humor, Culture

"I try not to laugh too loud, afraid a bark-like noise will be mistaken by any great whites lurking in the area as the distress call of a juvenile seal."

Fear, Humor, Imagination, Survival

"Are you referring to the day you instructed me to 'follow the white rabbit,' plied me with absinthe and brownies, and tried to have your way with me? Didn't take long for you to lose your romantic streak, did it?"

Embarrassment, Irony, Humor, Confrontation, Memory

"I'll get you and your little dog too?' You say your girl can't pay me back? Believe me when I say that that little gift's just gonna keep right on giving."

Humor, Threat, Playfulness, Warning

"How do you tactfully spin the term "man-whore to someone's sister?"

Social, Humor, Tact, Communication

"Seriously, what is the purpose? Maybe I'd feel better about walking around speaking fluent jive if I knew there was a reason for it."

Purpose, Absurdity, Identity, Language, Humor

"Alice? You didn't get this far without realizing that you don't have to cheat to win. You just have to accept that people are easily manipulated."

Manipulation, Control, Strategy, Power

"I slump in my chair, thinking how a narcotic party of one is no party at all."

Isolation, Loneliness, Addiction, Reflection