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Will Rogers

"I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father.""

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"I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father.""

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Asa Don Brown

"There's a Washington standard of casually putting things off the record. It's really gone too far. I don't know an easy way to turn it back."

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Asa Don Brown

"I grew up in a trailer park in Bellingham, Washington."

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Asa Don Brown

"Voters definitely believe Washington is corrupt - but most think it's bipartisan."

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Asa Don Brown

"If I decide to tour, I definitely would come to Washington, D.C. We'll see."

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Asa Don Brown

"Only in Washington does a decrease in the proposed increase equal a spending cut."

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Asa Don Brown

"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"

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Asa Don Brown

"Like they said about The West Wing, you can't do a show about Washington until you can."

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Asa Don Brown

"I was born in Washington, D.C., and I was raised in Milwaukee."

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Asa Don Brown

"The most difficult owner for me was the late George Marshall of Washington."

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Asa Don Brown

"Mix one part Denzel Washington and two parts Eva Mendes and you have a nice hot cocktail."

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Will Rogers
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
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"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."
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"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
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"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."
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"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."
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"We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others."
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Will Rogers
"The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."
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Will Rogers
"I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies."
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Will Rogers
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
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Will Rogers
"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."
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