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"For benefits by their very greatness spotlight the difference in conditions and arouse a secret annoyance in those who profit from them. But the charm of simple good manners is almost irresistible."
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"Graciously Accepting a Compliment. How many times have you offered someone a sincere compliment only to have it thrown back in your face as if your assessment were wrong? How did you feel? Women are notorious for this social misstep and poor maneuver. Why do they do it? Rejecting a compliment makes the compliment-giver feel as though they should have said nothing."
"But I was also told to hold doors for women and children, to shake hands with a firm grip, to remember people's names, and to always give the customer a little more than expected."
"A true gentlemen is one who is never unintentionally rude."
"To be always thinking about your manners is not the way to make them good; the very perfection of manners is not to think about yourself."
"Only fools imply compliments. The wise man comes right out with it, point-blank. Imply criticism--unless the criticized isn't within earshot."
"Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair."
"Using titles such as Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr., etc. demonstrates respect. In previous generations, it was a social necessity and simply good manners. One would consider you rude and uncultured if you were so presumptuous as to go straight to a "first name basis. First names can imply an intimacy that does not exist and it may offend a new person until they know you better. Be wary of making assumptions."
Explore more quotes by Alexis de Tocqueville
"I have always thought that in revolutions, especially democratic revolutions, madmen, not those so called by courtesy, but genuine madmen, have played a very considerable political part. One thing is certain, and that is that a condition of semi-madness is not unbecoming at such times, and often even leads to success."
"The genius of democracies is seen not only in the great number of new words introduced but even more in the new ideas they express."
"Grant me thirty years of equal division of inheritances and a free press, and I will provide you with a republic."
"I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America."
"Nothing conceivable is so petty, so insipid, so crowded with paltry interests, in one word, so anti-poetic, as the life of a man in the United States."
"Society was cut in two: those who had nothing united in common envy, those who had anything united in common terror."
"Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word, equality. But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty, socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude."
"Nothing, on the other hand, can be more impenetrable to the uninitiated than a legislation founded upon precedents."
"Men are not corrupted by the exercise of power, or debased by the habit of obedience; but by the exercise of a power which they believe to be illegitimate, and by obedience to a rule which they consider to be usurped and oppressive."
"As one digs deeper into the national character of the Americans, one sees that they have sought the value of everything in this world only in the answer to this single question: how much money will it bring in?"
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